Long before a child learns the alphabet, they have already learned what it means to be a “boy” or a “girl.” A baby boy is wrapped in blue, given trucks, and praised for being bold. A baby girl is wrapped in pink, handed a doll, and complimented for being shy and graceful. These small, everyday acts are not random. They are pieces of a much larger system called cultural socialization, the process through which society teaches us how to perform our gender. In India, this process is particularly powerful, shaping not just behaviour but also opportunity, identity, and self-worth.
Table of Contents
- The cultural construction of gender
- Why this topic matters
- The role of socialization in shaping gender identity
- Leela Dube’s insights on early socialization
- The “Seed and Earth” metaphor
- Rituals, language, and idioms
- The impact of patriarchal values: the “paraya dhan” mindset
- How “paraya dhan” influences family investment
- Son preference and the sex ratio
- Dowry, mobility, and the burden of being a girl
- Psychological implications for women
- Self-limiting beliefs and lowered aspirations
- Internalized misogyny
- Mental health and emotional well-being
- Behaviour in the family and society
- Cracks in the script: signs of change
The cultural construction of gender
Gender is not the same as sex. Sex refers to biological differences, while gender is a social and cultural construct. We are not born knowing how to be feminine or masculine. We are taught. Every culture has its own script for what men and women should do, wear, feel, and aspire to. In India, that script is woven from religious traditions, kinship structures, language, rituals, and centuries of patriarchal norms.
This means that the inequalities we see between men and women are not “natural” outcomes of biology. They are produced and reproduced by culture. Understanding this is the first step to questioning practices that often go unnoticed because they are dressed up as tradition.
Why this topic matters
If gender is constructed, it can also be deconstructed. By examining how socialization works, we can begin to identify the subtle and overt ways in which discrimination is passed from one generation to the next, often without anyone consciously intending harm.
The role of socialization in shaping gender identity
Gender socialization in India begins from the moment of birth, sometimes even before. The celebration of a son’s arrival with sweets, firecrackers, and elaborate rituals contrasts sharply with the muted welcome often given to a daughter. From the cradle onwards, children are guided into “appropriate” behaviour for their gender. Girls are encouraged to be quiet, helpful, and self-restrained. Boys are encouraged to be assertive, adventurous, and outspoken.
Leela Dube’s insights on early socialization
The pioneering Indian anthropologist Leela Dube transformed how we understand gender in South Asia. In her landmark essay “On the Construction of Gender: Hindu Girls in Patrilineal India”, she argued that gender identity is shaped by a careful cultural imprinting that turns biological females into “socially acceptable women.” Dube showed that the process is not accidental but systematic, operating through rituals, ceremonies, language, narratives, and everyday practices within the family.
She drew attention to how girls are taught household work from a young age, with notions of tolerance, sacrifice, and self-restraint being cultivated as natural feminine traits. The fact that these traits are produced by culture is hidden, because society interprets them as being rooted in biology, as part of “the natural order of things.”
The “Seed and Earth” metaphor
One of Dube’s most powerful contributions is her analysis of the “Seed and Earth” metaphor in Hindu cultural thought. In this analogy, the man is the active “seed” who provides identity and lineage, while the woman is the passive “earth” that merely nourishes what the seed creates. Such metaphors quietly justify why children take the father’s name, why property passes through sons, and why women are seen as receivers rather than originators of social identity.
Rituals, language, and idioms
Language is a quiet but relentless teacher. Dube highlighted how everyday expressions carry the weight of gender hierarchy. A Telugu saying, for example, compares raising a daughter to watering a plant in someone else’s courtyard. Similar idioms exist across Indian languages, all conveying the same message: a daughter does not truly belong to her parents. Rituals like kanyadaan, where a daughter is “given away” in marriage, reinforce this idea, treating her as a sacred gift rather than as an independent person with her own future.
The impact of patriarchal values: the “paraya dhan” mindset
Few ideas have shaped Indian gender relations more deeply than the concept of paraya dhan, literally meaning “someone else’s wealth” or “another’s property.” A daughter, in this worldview, is a temporary guest in her parents’ home, destined to leave and become part of her husband’s family. This single belief has powerful and long-lasting consequences.
How “paraya dhan” influences family investment
When parents believe that a daughter will eventually belong to another household, they often invest less in her education, health, and future. A son, by contrast, is seen as a permanent asset who will carry the family name, inherit property, and care for parents in old age. As researchers developing the India Patriarchy Index have noted, daughters in this framework neither contribute income nor add to the father’s natal group, making them appear less “useful” in patriarchal calculations.
The result is visible in hard numbers. Data from the National Family Health Survey-5 shows that girls in households with son preference are significantly less likely to receive full vaccination, with vaccination rates of 70.8 per cent compared with 76.9 per cent for boys. This is not a biological gap. It is a cultural one.
Son preference and the sex ratio
Son preference has shaped India’s demographic landscape in disturbing ways. According to the NFHS-5 data, while the overall sex ratio has improved to 1,020 females per 1,000 males, the sex ratio at birth remains skewed at around 929 girls per 1,000 boys, reflecting ongoing sex-selective practices. States like Haryana and Punjab continue to report some of the lowest child sex ratios, even as Kerala and Chhattisgarh show more balanced numbers.
Dowry, mobility, and the burden of being a girl
The paraya dhan mindset also feeds into the dowry system, despite it being illegal under the Dowry Prohibition Act of 1961. When a daughter is seen as a burden to be transferred to another family, dowry becomes the “price” of that transfer. This financial pressure further reinforces the idea that daughters are liabilities, while sons are investments. Mobility, education, and career choices for girls are often restricted because the ultimate goal becomes marriage, not self-actualization.
Psychological implications for women
What happens when a girl grows up surrounded by these messages? Slowly, often invisibly, she begins to absorb them. Psychologists call this process internalization. The external rules of patriarchy become internal beliefs about who she is and what she can or cannot do.
Self-limiting beliefs and lowered aspirations
When a girl is repeatedly told that her primary role is to be a good wife and mother, she may stop imagining herself as a scientist, an entrepreneur, or a leader. Studies on Indian women have shown that internalized social role expectations shape long-term career trajectories, often pushing women out of sustained employment. The barrier is not always external. Sometimes it is the quiet voice inside that whispers, “this isn’t for me.”
Internalized misogyny
One of the most painful outcomes of cultural socialization is internalized misogyny, where women adopt and pass on the same beliefs that subordinate them. Research has shown that this internalized misogyny is linked to reduced autonomy among Indian women, with women often participating in the policing of other women’s choices, dress, and behaviour. As commentators on internalized sexism note, the victim sometimes becomes the perpetrator, enforcing the very stereotypes that once harmed her.
Mental health and emotional well-being
The constant pressure to fit into a mould has measurable mental health consequences. Girls often grow up with self-esteem issues, body image concerns, and a deep sense of being secondary. Epidemiological evidence links women’s powerlessness and alienation to higher rates of depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues in adulthood, with roots that can be traced back to early childhood gender socialization.
Behaviour in the family and society
The internalization of gender norms also shapes everyday behaviour. Women may suppress assertiveness, defer to male decision-makers, accept unequal division of household work, or hesitate to claim their share of inheritance. These are not personal failings. They are the predictable outcomes of decades of cultural conditioning that taught them that being a “good woman” means being self-sacrificing, accommodating, and silent.
Cracks in the script: signs of change
The picture is not entirely bleak. Movements for gender equality, legal reforms, rising female education, and changing media representations are slowly rewriting the cultural script. Schemes like Beti Bachao Beti Padhao, stronger enforcement of the PCPNDT Act, and growing awareness about gender bias are pushing change forward. But progress is uneven, and deep-rooted attitudes do not change overnight.
The most lasting change will come not just from laws and policies, but from how we raise our children. When parents stop treating sons and daughters differently, when language stops calling daughters paraya dhan, when classrooms challenge stereotypes rather than reinforce them, the cultural construction of gender will begin to shift in meaningful ways.
What do you think? Can you recall moments from your own childhood where you were taught to behave a certain way simply because of your gender? And what is one cultural practice or expression you would change to make the gender script in your family more equal?
References
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leela_Dube
- https://ebooks.inflibnet.ac.in/socp4/chapter/approaches-to-the-study-of-indian-society/
- https://triumphias.com/blog/explain-leela-dube-concept-of-seed-and-earth-2/
- https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11205-021-02752-1
- https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/public-health/articles/10.3389/fpubh.2025.1709865/full
- https://vajiramandravi.com/current-affairs/sex-ratio-in-india/
- https://wcd.nic.in/act/dowry-prohibition-act-1961
- https://ijip.in/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/18.01.245.20241202.pdf
- https://ijip.in/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/18.01.255.20261401.pdf
- https://feminisminindia.com/2022/03/07/internalised-sexism-the-practice-of-women-being-misogynistic-towards-themselves-and-other-women/
- https://medium.com/@my2psychcents/impact-of-patriarchy-on-the-mental-health-of-women-in-india-96d73d85251f
- https://main.mohfw.gov.in/acts-rules-and-standards-health-sector/acts/pcpndt-act-1994

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